She (cont.)

She had found that the best way to maintain a sunny demeanor in a soul-crushing relationship was to store away horrible things about her significant other for potential future use.  It was entirely probable that these observations and feelings would never need to be used, but simply their presence was all that she needed to remain cordial in most scenarios.  In instances of extreme discontent she would write down her thoughts and leave them scattered about his apartment.  This gave her a slight thrill every time she received an incoming phone call in that it could be the beginning of a relationship ending fight, or it could be him calling just to say that he loved her.

She was entertained by the thought that in either case answering her phone with a chipper attitude was completely appropriate, in that if he had found the notes, he would be doubly enraged at her amicability and if he was calling to say hi, he was receiving the status quo.  The notes generally contained her musings on the relationship with topics such as, “how can I respect a weakling”, “people I can think about during sex so that I can enjoy myself” and “ways I shut down part of my brain to not think that someone is not a slob”.


About christophermwilt

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